welcome to my world

This dubstep song’s only lyrics are literally
“Drop that bitch on her head like BANG”.

What…

actingnaughtierthanwereallyare:

when i’m married my partner and i will have:

• morning sex
• afternoon sex
• dinner sex
• after meal sex
• i made pancakes sex
• good morning sex
• the kids are at school sex
• shower sex
• bored sex
• make up sex
• break up sex
• monday sex
• tuesday sex
• wednesday sex
• thursday sex
• friday sex
• saturday sex
• sunday sex
• there is nothing on tv sex
• i love you sex

(Source: joesphjonas)

psilentasincjelli:

If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and I’m hallucinating plot points I haven’t written yet

flutterlings:

the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”

egberts:

viarga:

just-laff:

egberts:

if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket

you are one of the great thinkers of our time

Then you’d look at a house and be like “oh damn I wanna live there” and millions of dollars would be in your pockets, crushing and killing you instantly

thats why you have to make sure you have huge pockets before you go house shopping duh

bras are so expensive like i didn’t choose the boob life the boob life chose me

(Source: u-ltravi0lets)

lovetobearunner:

“trying to get out of your sport bra” more like performing a mix between yoga and breakdance with some bunny and worm moves in between

thebaconsandwichofregret:

mutilatedmemories:

I will never understand girls who throw their bras at guys on stage those things are fucking expensive and he has no use for it like what do you want him to do pass it down to his first born daughter

I thought this was going to be slut-shaming but it’s glorious

sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments 

(Source: howsyourcoffeechadkroeger)